Two-Bit Hood and His Floozies


Two-bit Hood does community service in the park, cleaning up trash, washing the benches... secretly snatching food away from occupied picnickers.

Red Hornette heads to the game to cheer for the Holborn Hornets.

Two-bit Hood sneaks past a couple making out, snatching their 6-pack of beer before returning to performing the community service deed of cleaning the park.

Red Hornette cheers loud and shrill for her highschool football team playing at the stadium in the park. "Make 'em bleed, make 'em blind, knock that QB on his behind!"

Two-bit Hood sneaks behind the park bathroom and chugs a beer and then a second one before heading towards the parking lot, grinning at all the cars parked for the football game. "Oh goodie. Maybe someone's got a stereo I can steal!"

Red Hornette bounces to the bathroom at halftime. "We're gonna kill these preppies from Raglan..."

Lex Luthor looks down at his watch and frowns. "I'm going to have to be going... bleh..." while walking on towards the parking lot.

Red Hornette spots a suspicious looking fellow stumbling about the parking lot.

Two-bit Hood looks about and then spots a Gameboy lying in the backseat of a soccer-mom wagon. "Victory!" He then jimmies with the door handle. Locked! Damn!

Lex Luthor would be whistling softly as he twirled his keys as he walked into the parking lot towards his bentley.

Red Hornette points a gloved hand and shakes a pom. "Hey you, what do you think you're doing?"

Two-bit Hood jumps and looks over at the cheerleader. "Uh I errr ahh am ... working...as...parking lot security. Yeah, that's it. And, uh, I was making sure that the car was locked."

Lex Luthor laughs as he overhears Two-bit Hood. "Horrible excuse. Especially when there are cameras set up around this place..."

Red Hornette narrows her eyes. "I mean why are you breaking into that car and stuff! You're under citizen's arrest or something!”

Lex Luthor laughs out loud, “Or something...hahaha!”

“I'm not...I'm just checking and making sure it's locked so no one can break into it...” Two-bit Hood looks around and back at the cheerleader. Was there enough light for her to describe him to the police?

Red Hornette shakes her head and approaches the man with the weak story. “Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar... hold it right there or I’ll make you hollar!”

Lex Luthor stood there for a moment as he watched the two. "I'm interested to see what happens now."

Two-bit Hood backs away from the minivan and then turns and runs down the parking lot, trying to slip between cars and hide.

Red Hornette dashes after the man as he flees, her short pleated skirt bouncing on powerful thighs she is pretty sure make her faster than a drunk. “You're so not getting away from me!”

Madeline Raith will laugh hysterically if he does.

Two-bit Hood trips and drops one of the beer cans. The shaking of the beer from his running followed by the puncturing of the can upon impact sends a foam of beer spraying up into the air as the hood tried to roll underneath a car.

Red Hornette nearly catches the crook just in time to get drenched by a geyser of beer. “You! You creep!”

Madeline Raith laughs.

Two-bit Hood rolls onto his belly beneath the car, watching for the girl's feet.

Madeline Raith quips, “Oh my, it looks like Red Hornette became every alcoholics wet dream...a cheerleader drenched in beer!”

Vanna agrees, “That she did...she could make some good money as a pin up.”

Red Hornette kicks the spewing can under the car after the thief, leaps up and over the car, putting one hand down atop it as she flips to the other side to cut off the man’s escape route.

Two-bit Hood gets a face full of spewing beer and scoots backwards, trying to escape as his legs come out at the same time and location that the cheerleader lands on the other side of the car.

“You know...this is a pretty good comedy...”Vanna grins and centers herself on watching this unfold. She lofts a brow. "He might have a good show if she is wearing a cheerleader skirt and no panties...” She grins.

Madeline Raith shares popcorn with Vanna.

Red Hornette lands deftly in her black sneakers, straddling the hood's legs. She smirks. "Surrender now or feel the sting of the... Red Hornette!"

Samsoni smells popcorn. “Mmmmmmm...”

Vanna thanks and leans back and pops it into her mouth with a soft moan.

Madeline Raith snorts, “Man, that is the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard!”

Vanna adds, “Hornette...sounds like a bad porno...”

Madeline Raith laughs.

Two-bit Hood gacks and starts to scramble back underneath the car, back into the beer geyser.

Red Hornette goes to a knee and thrusts a rustling pom down at the scrambling legs, activating the taser hidden there. “Oh no you don’t!”

Two-bit Hood screeches, “AAIIEEEOWWWWWW!”

Madeline Raith blinks. “Wow, she’s actually doing well.”

Two-bit Hood twitches and kicks and jerks underneath the car as he is tazered, being soaked in beer not helping matters.

Red Hornette grabs for a twitching ankle to drag the man out from under the car. "I mean you must weight a ton or something..."

Vanna observes, “You know...since they are both covered in beer.,.and beer is a conductive liquid...would they both not feel the buzz there?

Madeline Raith nods. “You would think so.”

Vanna turns to Madeline. "Imagine if he has bad gas right now...”

Madeline Raith laughs.

Two-bit Hood twitches as he is pulled out from under the car as, overheard on the loudspeakers. "And the teams are taking the field and ready to start the third quarter!"

Red Hornette pulls some zipties out of her pom with a gloved hand as she squats over the thief to bind his wrists and ankles. “Oh crap... I mean I gotta go... the second half is starting... don't go anywhere!”

Two-bit Hood ends up lying on his belly, hands zip-tied behind his back, spluttering about the terrible loss of the beer can he dropped.

Red Hornette binds him quickly and rushes back to the stadium, trying to tell security where to find the man she just bound before rushing over to explain to her cheer coach why she's soaked in beer, an explanation that gets drowned out by the crowd as they cheer her drowned rat appearance.

Vanna remarks, “Is it just me...or are heroines getting a a little too gleeish these days...whatever happened to the good ole days where it was our sole duty to piss them off and they try to catch us?”

“I know, right?” Madeline Raith waits til Red Hornette is gone, then skips over to cut the zipties around Hoods wrists.

Vanna walks over and smiles to Two-bit. “Next time...aim higher my friend...you can aspire to be more then a stereo thief.”

Samsoni blinks.

“This town deserves a better class of criminal. Mind you,” Vanna looks to Madeline. “I just like breaking down walls and taking lots of gems and nice pretty things but hey that is my contribution to society.”

Madeline Raith cuts off the zip ties.

Vanna sighs and shakes her head as she helps Two-bit up. "Really...beaten by a cheerleader...”

Two-bit Hood mumbles and thanks the two women in a bit of a slurred voice ... the combination of tazers and beers will do that. “She sheated ... electric shock pom poms...not fair!”

Madeline Raith pats the Hood on the back consolingly.

Security spots the mumbling man and the two women as they come to investigate.

Two-bit Hood hails, “Ossifers! I want to file a conplaint against a sheerleader! She ashaulted me!”

Vanna warns, “Oh time to go...rent-a-cops on their way...” She begins to walk away and laughs to herself.

Madeline Raith smiles to the security guards and lays on the charm, and her natural White Court lust-inducing aura on them. "Nothing to see here Officers.”

Vanna turns to watch Raith and smiles, ready to help her if needed.

The security guys frown and narrow their eyes, "But Red Hornette said..." "Yeah, and she's like in the papers..." "Right, this guy fits her description..."

“I assure you she assaulted him.” Madeline Raith shows them a lot of her ample cleavage.

Samsoni ogles.

Two-bit Hood looks back and forth. "Yes! She is an eyewitness news person! She saw it all!"

Vanna grins wide, steps next to Madeline and crosses her arms under her own ample breasts to help with the effect.

The rent-a-cops stare, blink and shake their heads.

Two-bit Hood gawks at the two women who were coming to his aid. "I ... I ... Ayiyiyi!"

Madeline Raith asks, “Who are you going to believe, some cheerleader, or someone with a lot of money, influence and boobs?”

Vanna adds, “And I believe that lady who assaulted him was drinking...you could smell it on of her...”

The security guy rolls his eyes, "Red didn't reek like this guy though..."

Madeline Raith explains, “He's just had a little too much to drink.”

The other security guy nods. "And she's just a kid at the football game... but this guy should know better..."

Madeline Raith nods contritely. “Yes he should. I'll be sure to teach him a lesson, officer!”

The first officer sighs. "Get him outa here then..."

Vanna nods and smiles and runs her eyes along the men as she gives them a tawdry look. “Thank you officer...you are a credit to your uniform.”

Madeline Raith slips a card with her number on it in one of the officer’s pockets. "Give me a call sometime, handsome!”

The officer gives the woman a good long look and smiles before he and his buddy return to the stadium to ogle the cheerleaders.

Madeline Raith blows a kiss to the officer as he leaves.

Vanna grins, looks to Madeline and watches her movements...this woman knew how to roll and deal with the fuzz...and that was very admirable. "As I said...a credit to their uniform...schmucks...”

Madeline Raith giggles. "The one on the left totally wanted to bang me silly.”

Red Hornette jumps up and down and squeals loud and shrill for the Holborn Hornets despite the bedraggled clingy state of her costume.

Two-bit Hood watches the rent-a-cops leave and looks at the two women who helped. "Gee, thanks I...holy smokes but you gals got some big hoo...wow...I mean great charisma."

Vanna muses, “Mmmm so the right one wanted me?”

“Oh no, they both wanted me.” Madeline Raith smiles sweetly.

Two-bit Hood quickly slips down the parking lot, trying to find the minivan with the Gameboy in the back seat.

Vanna laughs and looks to Madeline. “I’m Vanna. So what is your name?”

“Aww he ain’t so bad...” Madeline Raith giggles and extends her hand, eyeing Vanna. "Madeline Raith.”

Vanna grins. “It is a pleasure... so what is there to do around here for fun?”

Samsoni puts up his hand. “You can do me for fun.”

Ms Blacksuit smirks.

Samsoni waddles off to plot petty crimes.

Two-bit Hood warns Samsoni that plotting petty crimes might get him tazed by a cheerleader.

Red Hornette heads home to change and shower off the beer after her team wins the game.

(Oct 2010)