Squid Pro Quo

 


Belle taking a call from the famous adventurer Sir Ralston DeVere... who apparently conquered the North pole... the South pole... Everest... the Amazon... and the Moon... and is now heading off to discover what's making the Humboldt Squid act up along the coastal waters of the USA... needing a seasoned reporter to accompany him...

BlueBelle agrees to join the expedition in return for exclusive broadcast rights... having heard of the aggressive behaviors of these human-sized cephalopods... attacking swimmers in the shallows... causing quite a panic along the beaches... something akin to Jaws... only with tentacles... the questions being why... and how to stop them... this being just the sort of story to put her back on top of the news world... she is on the first plane...

The plane landing on the west coast... a boat already waiting at the harbor... Sir Ralston presenting himself... an army of helpers already crewing the boat... science team studying charts and readying equipment... leaving the tanned, muscular adventurer little to do except enjoy cocktails and lounge on the deck... "Wonderful to see you, old thing... we'd best cast off forthwith... tally ho, what?"

BlueBelle smiles as a crewman takes her bags to her cabin... leaving her to toast the embarking with Sir Ralston... still dressed in the business suit she was wearing when she received his call... "Indeed... I hope you don't mind my submersible hovercam following us about... documenting everything..." taking a drink and a seat in a lounge chair...

Sir Ralston nodding... "Of course not, old stick... I can promise plenty of action... you did sign the disclaimer, yes? I can't be responsible for your safety while on board ship, y'know..."

BlueBelle rolls her eyes... "Of course... a reporter does whatever she needs to do to get a story... it's not as if I haven't faced danger before... though I've only managed one pole and Kilimanjaro myself..." winking as she sips her drink... "So do you have any ideas as to why the Humboldt might be migrating north and becoming more aggressive?"

The explorer blinks... sipping a cocktail... "Haven't the foggiest, old thing... that's for the oceanographer johnnies on the boat to work out... my jobs just to go out there and give them some of the old what for! They won't like it up 'em!" nodding furiously... and refilling his drink... as the boat speeds away from the dock towards the squid spawning ground...

BlueBelle nearly spews her own drink... realizing Sir Ralston is every bit as crazy as she's heard... and a throwback to the likes of Sir Richard Burton... translator of the Arabian Nights and the Kama Sutra... "Well give me a moment to change into something more appropriate..." slipping below deck to slip into her metallic blue bikini...

Sir Ralston nearly spewing his own drink as the voyage gets underway... taking plenty of time to give a full appraisal of your figure in the metallic bikini... "I say..." offering you another drink as the fast-moving craft gets closer to the spawning grounds of the squid...

BlueBelle smiles and models for her hovercam as well as the generally handsome if somewhat rough-hewn explorer... "Who says exploration can't be done with glamour... besides... my viewers expect me to look my best..." enjoying another drink as they chat... "So am I to understand you and I will be the ones in the water..."

The explorer nodding... "Absolutely... the science chaps have pinpointed some sort of cave which seems to be where it's all kicking off... so I'm off down there to sort things out... should be a bit of a ruck... I don't know if you want to get too close though... it might be fearfully dangerous, y'know..."

BlueBelle raises a brow as she lounges in her deck chair... metallic blue bikini barely able to contain her curves... "Are you quite sure you should start a ruckus before we even know what's causing the change in their behavior... I mean perhaps we need to observe and let the oceanographers make some recommendations first..."

Sir Ralston shakes his hand... still running his eyes over you... "Pshaw... nonsense... I've been in this game for years, gel, and I've never come up against something that didn't fold up under a stiff right hook... and these squiddy things'll be no exception, mark my words..." The captain of the ship arriving to inform Sir Ralston that they're in the area...

BlueBelle poses for her hovercam and speaks soberly... "This is it dear viewer... Sir Ralston and I are about to brave these dark waters in search of the Diablo Rojo... as the locals call them... the seven-foot-long Humboldt squid that make their home here in the Sea of Cortez... we hope to discover why reports of attacks by these creatures are way up... wish us luck..." smiling as she dons her gear... mask... fins... knife... a belt with flashlight and speargun around her amazingly small waist... her air tank of course... then she and the adventure fall backwards over the side of the ship with a splash as the sun sets over the water beyond...

The water quickly growing dark as you swim down... and down... into the depths of the sea... a greenish glow coming from below... your eyes widening behind the scuba mask as you see what's causing it... the whole cave you're seeking lit up with glowing algae... emitting an eerie greenish light...

BlueBelle looks over to Sir Ralston... pointing to the sight below... he nods back with a thumbs up... which he turns down... a wild grin on his face... pushing on... a strong swimmer... Belle pushed to keep up with him... her hovercam following the pair... as they swim into the cave... as yet no sign of the red devils...

The cave wide... and deep... reaching down... no sign of any of the massive squids as you swim deeper into the mouth of the thing... until you happen to look back... eyes widening... as you see a massive squid illuminated in the entrance... the creature that calls this cave home...

BlueBelle feels her heart skip a beat... flutter kicks a bit harder to catch Sir Ralston... her powerful legs and fins driving her forward... tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention... pointing behind... not needing to swing her flashlight up... the algae creating enough light to see... a Colossal Squid following them... huge... perhaps fifteen meters long...

Sir Ralston's eyes widening... pointing at the squid and crudely signing that it must be responsible... or at least the pack leader... immediately charging without thinking twice... or arguably thinking at all... getting swiftly caught up in the coils of the huge monster... as he attempts to hack at it with the knife... a life and death battle straight from the cover of an adventure story... but not exactly practical...

BlueBelle gasps... chest heaving against metallic blue... bubbles inadvertently spewing from her mouthpiece... watching the tentacles draw the adventurer ever closer to the huge beak... thinking the cold eyes of the Squid are the largest she has ever seen... pointing her speargun... at one huge eye... and depressing the trigger...

The spear flying through the water... puncturing one of the huge eyes... sending a cloud of blood into the water... as the beast roars... releasing Sir Ralston... and reaching out for you... huge tentacles slithering into the cave to grab hold of you... the remaining eye looking at you with rage...

BlueBelle kicks her long legs to swim away even as suckered tentacles wrap about them... turning the speargun toward the other eye... but having the weapon ripped away from her before she can fire... finding herself in a forest of seething tentacles... gripping... squeezing... suckering... a cloud of bubbles fills the water as she tries to scream...

The tentacles wrapping around you... squeezing tight... as if attempting to crush the life out of you... suckers gripping... as the huge tentacles draw you closer and closer to the gnashing beak of the beast...

BlueBelle struggles frantically... the hovercam broadcasting the whole terrible scene live... the buxom heroine writhing... her bikini torn away by vicious suckers... suckers that quickly cover her nudity as their grip tightens... her hand unable to reach the knife strapped to her calf... the gnashing beak only inches away... her hand grasping the flashlight... turning the beam up into the one remaining eye...

The massive monster rearing back from the blinding beam... tentacles releasing you as it draws back... retreating from the mouth of the cave... before it covers its eye with half of its tentacles... the other four reaching out... feeling blindly for you...

BlueBelle takes her knife in hand... slashing wildly at the tentacles... wondering what became of Sir Ralston... was she too late... did the squid mortally wounded him... too busy slashing to look for him... her large breasts more buoyant than ever under water... careening about her chest hacks at the tentacles...

The squid bellowing as you slash at the tentacles... then thrashing... blood spewing from the beak into the water... as Sir Ralston swims out of the eye socket you shot out earlier... knife in his teeth... covered in the squid's ichor... giving you a thumbs up through the murky red water... the signal to surface...

BlueBelle nods and reaches for the surface... swimming side by side with the brash man... the hovercam following... showing long footage of Belle's bare bottom working to kick her legs... before panning around... the water filled with the shapes of over a thousand Humbolt squid shoaling behind the swimmers... an army in pursuit... their skin flashing red to white and back...

The squids obviously commanded by the larger one... gaining on the pair of swimmers inexorably... tentacles thrashing in the water... reaching up... a sea of them like weeds...

BlueBelle sees that she and Sir Ralston are not going to make it before being overtaken by the shoaling squid... tentacles whipping... gripping at their legs as two dolphins knife through the water... offering the human swimmers each a fin... pulling them away from the squid... leaving them at the boat before speeding off... even the dolphins apparently wanting no part of a confrontation with the Diablo Rojo...

The squid reaching the surface just after you hop onto the boat... writhing in the water... but unable to climb aboard... eventually drifting away... as if losing interest... perhaps without the mental commands of the huge mutant squid they will resume their own lives in the sea...

BlueBelle exhales in relief... her chest heaving... shivering until Sir Ralston finds her a terrycloth robe... draping it around her shoulders... "Not bad for a first date, missy... Flipper a friend of yours?" the adventurer offering a drink... "What do you say we locate the yeti next... y’know, with the same squid pro quo, old thing..." blinking at Sir Ralston in disbelief... Belle takes the glass and a silent vow to drink heavily...

(May 2009)