The Rockets Red Dare and Bombastic Derriere


Lucky Lucy tips red white and blue top hat to the audience as she dances out in her red white and blue tails and fishnet magicienne’s ensemble.

Longshot sets off a series of red white and blue explosions above her.

Lucky Lucy takes off hat and pulls a little floral handheld fireworks display out of it, and another, and a third. Lucy winks at Longshot. “I'm Lucky Lucy, Mistress of Magical Escapes! I'm doing the patriotic thing this evening...”

Longshot’s fireworks go pow pow bang crack boom crackle.

Svadhisthana smiles as she watches the display.

Lucky Lucy salutes with white-gloved hand.

Gossamer salutes.

Svadhisthana's eyes turn to Lucy, then she smiles, and offers a salute as well.

Nine Kelvin slurps a super-chilled soda on his icy beach chair.

Lucky Lucy dances about, firecrackers suddenly appearing between her gloved fingers, the fuses burning.

Gossamer hopes she has sense to release them before they go off.

Lucky Lucy scatters them about, feigning fear as they pop.

Cheyenne Cassidy is keepin' her patriotism close under wraps other than her 'DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS' t-shirt, which is doin' yeoman's work considerin' her frame.

Svadhisthana chuckles softly, taking a seat on the water itself as she watches... legs "dangling" into the water... swishing a bit...

Lucky Lucy appears not to see as a man in a black coat approaches her from behind. Lucy still does not see even as he sneers and waxes his mustache. Lucy gets a rude awakening as he lights a roman candle and begins shooting it at her.

Gossamer gasps, “Dasterdly!”

Svadhisthana’s hand goes to her mouth. “Oh crap!”

Lucky Lucy squeals as her red and white striped tails burst into flames, forcing her to strip the coat off.

“I’m pretty sure that this is just an act.” Nine Kelvin chuckles.

Svadhisthana blinks.

Gossamer shakes her head.

Lucky Lucy unfortunately loses her magic top hat in the melee, voluminous waves of blond hair spill down over her shoulders as the hat lands upright on the ground. She soon finds the dastardly villain with the mustache binding her arms and legs and forcing her into a huge cannon. Lucy gives the audience a terrified look, lips pursed in a little o-shape.

Svadhisthana shrugs and then blinks at the man tying up the dancing girl. Kinky.

Channiton likes Svadhisthana already.

Nine Kelvin gives applause to the awesome performance and grabs another super-chilled soda.

Lucky Lucy's bound form with fishnets and vest disappears inside cannon. The fuse is lit. It burns down as the cannon is swung around to fire through three walls the man in black is setting aflame.

Gossamer slurps on a milkshake hopefully not made from real heroines.

Lucky Lucy is seemingly disintegrated when the cannon misfires, it's barrel torn wide open like an exploded firecracker, pieces of red vest and blue fishnet fluttering in the smoke that hangs in the air.

Cheyenne Cassidy gapes in surprise at the explosion, her hands almost reflexively going to the irons strapped to her hips.

Gossamer catches some of the vest in the air.

Channiton does not recall hiring this entertainment. “Wolfe, did you hire this entertainment?”

Mister Wolfe blinks. “Arroo?”

Channiton points to Lucy.

Mister Wolfe mutters, “Well... Zatanna wasn't available.”

Lucky Lucy waits for the crowd to gasp before rising up under the top hat where it still lies on stage, grinning as she bows, only to gasp as the mustache man grabs her again.

Nine Kelvin observes, “She's doing a better job than some real heroines I've seen...”

Svadhisthana gasped, and then applauded as the woman made her epic re-entrance.

Lucky Lucy shakes her head and pleads as her top hat is taken away from her once more. The man with the mustache puts the top hat on his own head and this time binds her to a giant bottle rocket.

Channiton asks, “Wolfe, what did I tell you about hiring entertainment I haven’t previewed?”

Gossamer sits next to Nine Kelvin, “Are you going to do another peril calendar for 2012?”

Nine Kelvin blinks. "I did a peril calendar?"

Gossamer nods, shows him the whole series him in a variety of positions, “This one looks the most threatening...” a plant is slipped down his pants, “it gives me fuzzy feelings.”

Lucky Lucy strains against the bindings as the dastardly villain lights the fuse, her efforts popping off the bowtie and the top two buttons on her blouse but doing little to free her.

Gossamer blinks and catches a button.

Lucky Lucy looks down at the burning fuse and purses her lips, blowing for all she is worth. The fuse seems to flicker and go out, but as she exhales in relief it reignites.

Svadhisthana watches in horror. “...Oh no!”

Lucky Lucy's emerald eyes widen in terror as her time burns down.

Nine Kelvin frowns. "I think I need to talk to my agent about that." Clearly, Caren has been authorizing products behind his back again.

“This one says Nine Kelvin at Polly Poison's hands... you have quite a rapport with the ladies...” Gossamer looks a bit starstruck.

Lucky Lucy squeals as the rocket ignites and streaks into the night sky above like part of Longshot’s fireworks display. A few seconds later massive floral bursts erupt in brilliant red white and blue, the loud pops heard a second later, a shock and awe inspiring series of explosions seemingly marking the end of Lucy's luck as a mistress of escape.

Svadhisthana gasps once again as she watches the girl shoot up into the air.

Nine Kelvin grins and gives a thumbs-up, then offers Gossamer a popsicle from his frozen box of goodies. "Well, keep your fingers crossed and maybe there'll be another!"

“I hope so! Sayyyy, I'm a heroine and you're a hero... kinda guy... we should date!” Gossamer blink and watches as the rocket goes up. “I hope she has a parachute.”

Nine Kelvin glances up. "Or she does some teleporting trick again."

Lucky Lucy comes floating down slowly, what was mistaken as one of the floral displays actually seemingly a parachute from which Lucky Lucy dangles, wearing only a flag bikini as she zeros in on the man with the mustache, tackling him as she lands.

Nine Kelvin nods. “Hm. Good aim. Parachutes aren't that easy to position.”

“You've imperiled me for the last time, Mustached Menace! Give me my top hat!” Lucky Lucy reaches for the red white and blue top hat on the man’s head and simply pulls it down to the ground by the brim, seemingly making him vanish in the process.

Svadhisthana snickers, applauding. “Get him!”

Lucky Lucy grins, poses and bows to the audience. Lucy gives hat a tap, replaces on her head and exits stage right.

Nine Kelvin exclaims, “Bravo!”

Svadhisthana applauds!

Lucky Lucy takes a curtain call. "Thanks, I'll be appearing weekly at the Lyric Theatre."

Svadhisthana applauds as she stands into the water now.

Cheyenne Cassidy applauds, with gloved hands, pretty darned impressed by all the magicin'.

Gossamer applauds the performance.

Closer inspection reveals that it was no parachute, it was Lucy’s white blouse, blue bloomers and red belt ensemble. Congrats to Gossamer on guessing a chute was coming.

******

Orb sneaks backstage for some unofficial photos of Lucy.

Lucky Lucy asks, “Can you help me with this flag bikini? The ties seem to have become knotted...”

“YES!” Orb uses telekinetic powers to solve this problem.

Lucky Lucy exhales as the strings untie and the flag is lowered, dropping to the floor at her feet as she pads off to the shower.

Orb offers, “Great show, by the way.”

Lucky Lucy looks back over a shoulder as she shrugs it. “I missed a couple of marks, but I hit most of them.

“A fine show, all the same. The moments of danger were very convincing.” Orb thinks it enjoys these moments after the show better.

“ I try.” Lucky Lucy soaps and scrubs and generally lets the water cascade over her.

Orb hovers. Haaaaaaaawt.

“ I love the thrill of making the audience believe I've had it, Orb...” Lucky Lucy grins. “Did you see their faces?”

“I did.” Orb notes, “A sea of horror, it was.”

“When that cannon blew up instead of firing me out they thought I’d been blown to pieces!” Lucky Lucy grins and shampoos her hair. Lucy is soon covered in bubbles from head to toe.

Orb admires Lucy's soaped up cannonballs.

Lucky Lucy blows the man down. Lucy rinses and towels off.

Orb really wishes it had hands at moments like this.

Lucky Lucy smirks and thrusts out a hip to bump the hovering Orb. “Naughty nite. See you tomorrow.”

Orb wobbles. “G'night.”

Lucky Lucy goes to sleep naked.

Orb totally follows.

(July 2011)