Grindhouse

 


Chickfighter giggles as she cruises down the curvy road in her pink Corstang... carving the turns of the mountain highway like a pro... jamming to the sounds of Mountain's live version of Nantucket Sleighride... anxious to catch up with her old friend Rose who asked to meet her at a place called the Grindhouse...

The Grindhouse way out in the desert... off the beaten track... in the dustbowl... Rose seeming concerned on the phone... worried about a family of thugs who've been drinking in the place and made it their home... a particularly mean bunch... who've bragged about making dancers 'disappear' in the past...

Chickfighter puts the pedal down and gear jams as she hits the flats... streaking along the straight desert highway... the lines becoming dots... telephone poles a picket fence... going a couple miles a minute... until the she sees the lights of the giant chainsaw logo... looming on the side of the building on the overlook ahead...

The place seeming very quiet... and still... almost dead... a chill running down your spine as you remember Rose was to meet you here... no sound but the crickets as you approach the front entrance... the door swinging in the breeze...

Chickfighter swings a charcoal jacket from her shoulder... flapping in the breeze as she slips it on... to keep the chill off her bare arms... peering inside the swinging door... "Hi there... any bodies home..." Her slender form standing in the doorway... a pink corset visible under the charcoal suit...

The building seeming deserted... the bar empty... half-finished drinks still left... a couple of tables overturned... a couple of bottles smashed on the floor... and a couple of pools of blood... evidently the worst may have already happened...

Chickfighter looks around for clues... anything that might tell her Rose was here... or where to look for her... stiletto heels clicking on the wooden floor as she walks past the raised runway stage... to check the kitchen in the back...

The door to the kitchen swinging open... your eyes widening as a chef's knife hurtles straight towards you... barely dodged... as a huge man in a chef's uniform grins and stumbles towards you... a deadly meat cleaver in hand... unshaven... and looking like a village idiot... drooling...

Chickfighter gaping at the knife as it vibrates audibly in the door next to her face... wide eyes slowly turning sideways back to the looming man in bloody white... her leg flashing out in a sheath of dark nylon... snapping a stiletto at his chest...

The kick sending him stumbling back... his hand finding another knife... hurling it as he drools... seemingly unable to form words... as he follows up with a swing of his cleaver... aiming to chop you up like a roast...

Chickfighter 's blue eyes widen as the jab of her heel barely fazes the man... again barely dodging as a knife embeds itself in the door behind... ducking in a flare of coat as the cleaver swings... catching the tails of her jacket... and pinning them to the door... she slips free of the sleeves and sweeps at the big man's feet...

The sweep knocking the larger man off his feet... sending him tumbling to the ground... the cook reaching with meaty paws to try and drag you down with him... as a rangy old man in a baseball cap appears at the back entrance... "Cletus has got some trouble!" He snarls... reaching for a shotgun...

Chickfighter spinning to her feet... and stepping out of her skirt as the huge hands rip it down her legs in their effort to pull her down... yanking the pair of knives from the door... hurling one at the throat of each of her attackers...

Cletus' eyes grow wide as a knife embeds in his throat... the old man suffering the same fate... dropping the shotgun with a clatter... an awful roar coming from the doorway the old man entered... and a scream... Rose's voice... and then the roar of a chainsaw...

Chickfighter racing forward as fast as her stiletto heels will allow... no time to retrieve coat or skirt... snatching up the dropped shot gun... twelve gauge double barrel job... bob of blond cupping her blinking eyes as she looks out back... for the source of that roar... "Rose!?"

Rose in one piece... strung up by her wrists from a ceiling beam... and menaced by a huge man in dungarees... carrying a chainsaw... that drifts closer and closer to her struggling form... the man getting a look at the shotgun and making a break for the back exit... leaving Rose alone...

Chickfighter retrieves the knife from the neck of the gun-owner... cutting her friend down... keeping her eyes open... and the shotgun in her hands... even as she helps her friend to a seat on top of a freezer unit... "So what's all this about, Rose?"

Rose shaking... "That hillbilly family... they came in and slaughtered everybody... left me until last... they're all crazy... especially that big one in the dungarees... he killed most of them..." She breaks down in tears...

Chickfighter clutches her friend's shoulder and squeezes to comfort her... "Well I'm here now... I killed two of them... do you know how many more of them there are... I saw the big guy of course..." Molly slides the knife behind one of the black stays on her pink corset... "My car's out front... come on..."

As you lead her out to the car... looking all around... no sign of the big man anywhere... bizarre... as though he's vanished right into the desert sand...

Chickfighter looks all around... turning this way and that as she crosses the parking lot... crescent moon glistening off her bare shoulders... as well as the pink car... she shrugs and tosses Rose the gun... "You ride shotgun... I'll drive... let's go!"

The car peeling out... building up speed on the desert road... as you hear the sound of the chainsaw starting up again... the lip of the trunk flying off as the maniac carves his way out... somehow having managed to cram himself inside... bringing the chainsaw down at you even as you drive...

Chickfighter sighing in relief as the convertible pulls away... hair dancing about her face... then gasping in terror at the sound of the trunk coming off... hitting the gas to throw the giant off-balance... "Shoot him Rose... in the head!"

Rose trying to aim the gun... trembling... then screaming as the chainsaw tears into it... sending it out of her hand to clatter on the roadway... as the chainsaw tears down into the back of the seat... sending stuffing flying...

Chickfighter activates the automatic roof... again throwing the giant off as the mechanism lifts up... as the car swerves back and forth across the road... "Here... take the wheel, Rose..." standing up in the seat of the moving car as the remains of shredded roof catch enough air to lift the car off the ground...

The giant tearing at the roof with the chainsaw... refusing to let go of it... standing up as he takes another swing at you... the car veering to and fro... all over and off the road... as Rose panics behind the wheel... throwing you and the maniac back and forth wildly...

Chickfighter gapes in disbelief as the roof rips away... and the chainsaw wielding madman is still standing... she hops over a slash of the chainsaw... landing in the backseat as the airborne car hits the road again... stumbling forward as the chainsaw is thrust at her midsection... sparks flying... as it glances off the knife tucked there...

The madman snarling... lifting the chainsaw high over his head... readying himself to bring it down... as the car bucks and swerves... heading straight for the main highway... busy... as the madman barely keeps his balance... swinging the heavy chainsaw down at you...

Chickfighter catches her balance as the car corners onto the highway... dives over the seat into the trunk... as the chainsaw swings down... rolling between the big man's legs... ripping the knife from her corset... tearing the garment open as it comes free... thrusting it straight into his back as she pops up behind him... topless as the car...

The man howling... the knife buried deep... the chainsaw jammed in the bottom of the car... as it skids into the path of a massive truck... barely avoiding collision... the madman trying to grab you... coughing blood even as he attempts to grip your neck and force your head down against the rushing roadway...

Chickfighter chokes on the exhaust of the chainsaw as it spews in her face... as the massive hands press her horrified face through the open floorboards toward the screaming asphalt below... her hands flailing about the trunk... fingers grasping a tire iron... swinging the crooked end up into the crotch of the giant...

The giant howling... letting you go... and reaching to grab his injured privates... losing his balance in the act and stumbling back... falling from the car... and into the path of a massive gas tanker... going under the wheels... even as the tanker crashes into a pick-up... the massive explosion sending car and passengers tumbling like a leaf...

Chickfighter balls up in the trunk... bounced around like a ping pong ball as the car rolls... crashing through a billboard for Danger Doll Satellite TV... which shatters into a thousand pieces... the car rolling to a stop against pile of sand... as the cab of the tanker rolls on past... stopping on down the road... engine running...

Rose unhurt... miraculously... crawling over to you... panting and flopping against you... "Is it over...?" She mumbles...

Chickfighter leaning on each other and stumbling toward the cab of the tanker... "I think so... maybe this guy will give us a ride..." opening the passenger door of the cab... only to have scarred shotgun barrels pressed to her bosom... which she only now recalls is exposed... "Nice tits... looking for a ride... heh... this is your lucky day..."

And your eyes widen... another hillbilly... cocking the hammers of the shotgun... and leering... as he unzips his fly... tossing a length of rope to Rose... "Bind your friend real good... unless you want her and you to get the business end of this gun..."

Chickfighter has her arms bound behind her back and then her ankles as well... by her sniffling friend Rose... as she crouches on the floorboards... in nothing but panties and tattered stockings... her head bobbing at the man's crotch... as the hillbilly turns the truck around... and drives back towards the neon chainsaw looming in the distance...

(April 2007)