Kei Plays Grand Theft Auto


KunoichiKei takes the night off from studying to just wander the streets... wondering what Belle is going to do... a little unnerved by the upheaval of recent days... stopping for a calzone at Columbos... then heading on her way... still in her school uniform... and carrying her backpack... but with no intention of going to the library...

Things certainly in flux at the moment... maybe time to take up her Uncle's offer and return to Japan... to study to become a heroine on home turf... your thoughts disturbed by the familiar roar of the Bellemobile... Belle probably coming to admonish you for staying out late...

KunoichiKei ponders ducking out of sight... but figures it is already too late... looking back over her shoulder... forcing a smile... knowing how much stress her mentor is under... raising her hand to wave... "Hiya Belle... I just stopped to eat before going to the lib..."

Your sentence trailing off... and your eyes widening... as the Bellemobile roars right past... without Belle... but with a collection of five thugs crammed inside it... with letter sweaters and fifties quiffs... you'd heard that there was a gang of car thieves in the area... the Greased Lightnings... and now they've boosted Belle's car...

KunoichiKei gapes in disbelief... Belle must have been out and left it running... “I sure hope she wasn’t looking for me...” Kei digs her iCee out of her backpack... "Hiya... Sara? Can you trace the Bellemobile and... Hello? Sara? Out of service? Shit!" Kei ditches the phone in the pack and grabs her yoyo... whipping it out at the traffic signal... swinging to the seat behind a guy on a motorcycle... "Hiya Cutie... I need to borrow your ride..."

The burly biker snorting at you... "I ain't a taxi service, girlie... this hog is for street racing only... there's nobody on the street I can't beat with this, including the cops... customized her myself..."

KunoichiKei smirks and points at the speeding Bellemobile... "Bet you can't catch that custom BMW Z4... I know you couldn't if I was driving it..." wrapping her arms around the big guy with a tattoo on his shoulder that says 'Bull'... tucking a manipulative smile to his shoulder as they roar off...

The big man eager to prove you wrong... handling the speeding hog like he's been riding it for twenty years... which might be the case... the gang treating it like a road race... whooping and hollering as they take it around curves... up towards the hills... maybe these are some bored rich kids looking for kicks... the hog pulling level... as the gang members flip the biker off...

KunoichiKei rubs against the biker as she shifts around... "So Bull... can you get us close enough... and steady enough that I can leap over there and teach those delinquents a lesson?" The big guy glancing back with a grin and grunting... "I gotta see this..." whipping the bike along side the car... his eyes widening as Kei goes flying... whipping her yoyo about the antenna... flopping about on top of the roof...

Bull peeling off... and keeping up the chase behind... even as the thugs don't know whether to cheer or shake you off... one of them pushing one of the dash buttons... activating the convertible feature... built in for the height of summer... but very useful now...

KunoichiKei is nearly ejected into space as the hardtop is blown off... clinging desperately to the lifeline of her yoyo... her flailing legs and flapping skirt giving the biker some nice views of pink panties as he chases with a grin... Kei swinging back down into the car... splits kicking at two of the boys piled into the car...

Your feet impacting against their faces, sending the boys tumbling out to become road rash... not fatal, but certainly nasty... as the remaining two non-drivers pile on... trying to hold you still while the car swerves wildly around corners... like a maddened snake...

KunoichiKei is caught in very close corners... wondering how five of them ever crammed in here to begin with... pieces of her clothing flying back at the trailing biker... who laughs as he catches lavender smelling garments in the face... blouse... skirt... wincing as he catches a whiff of boys briefs... Kei by now spanking one boy’s bare ass while she has him bent over the other one... "Stop this car now!"

The driver looking in the mirror... and putting his foot on the gas... steering the car through the well-to-do suburbs... figuring you can't do anything to him without the car skidding out of control... "You stop... hands in the air or... or I'll crash us! I mean it!"

KunoichiKei ties up the driver's compatriots in crime with their own shoestrings... "You don't have the guts... and I'm the only one here likely to survive..." the boy swerving wildly as she takes off her bra... sticking her tongue out at him... and slipping it around his neck... "Now stop the car or pass out!"

The boy swerving even more wildly... then stomping on the brake... the car going into an uncontrolled skid... melting rubber... until finally it comes to rest in the mayor's driveway... her honor running onto the lawn in her nightdress to gape...

KunoichiKei kicks the naked boys out onto the lawn... and the driver... Kei grinning... "Belle sends her compliments, Mayor Dee... these car-snatching delinquents are your problem now..." waving as she plops down behind the wheel... looking over as Bull pulls along side... seeing the rest of the tattoo for the first time... "So Bull... Shit... want race back to the DDSTV Tower..." grinning and gunning it... her bare boobs shimmying…

Bull guns the hog... which immediately sputters and dies... leaving him under the Mayor's frosty stare as you drive back to the tower... wondering if you will be congratulated or punished...

(February 2009)