Angel Flexes

US Angel salutes and goes on patrol, hovercam in tow, filming for her show.

Marceline sighs, sitting on a bench, lost in thought. "I wonder how to make the town bend to my will... Just advertising isn't going to work."

“You might be surprised,” says Wrayth, “I can recommend the name of a good PR firm.”

Flex heads for an ATM, intent on making a withdrawal.

Marceline smiles, a fang showing on the part time rocker's face. "PR firm huh? I never did anything like that before."

Wrayth nods. “Yep. How do you think Harley got elected mayor?”

Harley Quinn exclaims, “The people demanded change!”

US Angel glances at the hovercam and wonders if Belle really thinks real footage will really be better for her show or if Belle is just to frugal to pay for good writers. “Harley advertised on DDSTV!”

Harley Quinn nods. “That too!”

US Angel grins.

“I just wanted a chance to eventually abduct a Mayor, and Dee is a bit of a difficult match.” Arik Cabral grins wryly.

“You could run an ad campaign. A media blitz...” Wrayth says to Marceline, “People would be eating out of your hand... to be eaten out of your hand.”

Marceline giggles. "Heh.... you think so?" She pictures posters of herself everywhere about bending to her very whim.

Wrayth adds, “Heck, if they got Harley elected, anything's possible.”

Marceline smiles. "Wow... I never noticed how easy it'd be here compared to my homeland...."

Harley Quinn revokes Wrayth's Empire Driver's Permit.

Wendy Wildstar swoops back in, bops various evildoers on the head, goes to the campus dining hall and starts studying.

Harley Quinn notes to save money has assigned all campus dining halls at Empire University to D-Plan diet food.

Wendy Wildstar shakes fist, vows to depose Harley.

Miss USA joins on. “Yeah - even a busted up fridge could run the city...”

Flex finds a good spot, and stands in front of the ATM, dressed in a rather colorful yellow and red costume, his arms first extending, then coiling, tightening slowly into twin spring-like extensions of his shoulders.

US Angel twirls her red white and blue staff.

“Go, Angel!” Michael Vescovi declares, “You stomp those villains!”

US Angel blinks at Michael's outburst and nearly drops her staff.

Michael Vescovi grins. “Lookin' a little unfocused there.”

Flex releases the tension, grinning under the mask as concrete and brickwork powders under the impact.

US Angel focuses and taps Flex on the back of the weird shoulder. “You're like under arrest! Willful destruction of private property. Attempted robbery.

Nightwing notes how somehow throwing the word "like" in that sentence makes it sound less official.

Flex jumps, nearly tripping over his extended arms, which are currently long quivering lengths of red and yellow clad spaghetti.

Michael Vescovi encourages, “You tell him, Angel!”

Marceline still looks to Michael Vescovi, surprised at how enthusiastic he is for a vampire like herself.

“Jeez! Attempted like hell. Just ain't done yet.” Flex retracts his arms, back into some semblance of normality. "Go away. I'm busy."

“Just let me bind... your wrists... err... or whatever...” US Angel fumbles for some zipties.

Nightwing slides US Angel some "V" shaped cuffs, "Looks like you need a hand."

“Do you think these cuffs are like better than mine?” US Angel glances at Nightwing.

“Zip-ties *are* rather low budget...” Wrayth notes, “Fairly effective, however.”

US Angel sighs, “Riot cuffs if you prefer.”

Nightwing shrugs. “Not saying my cuffs are better than yours, but you *did* look like you were catching hell trying to get some restraints.”

Wrayth's image covers his eyes with his hand and tries not to laugh out loud.

“Lookin' a little shakey there, Angel.” Michael Vescovi taunts, “That beating you took from Cinderblock still weighing on your brain?”

Flex takes hold of the ATM, plants both legs on the wall beneath, and starts pulling it free of the building. More cracking of concrete ensues, as he uses his legs sort of like extending jacks.

“Whoa! Stop that! Like how strong are you?” US Angel pokes Flex with her staff. “I mean it and stuff!” US Angel finds crime fighting without written dialogue really rather difficult. “Okay, that does it!”

“Ow! OOOOOOWWWW!” Flex says the last when the ATM springs free and falls on his foot...pancaking it.

“I'm better with the action sequences anyway!” US Angel activates the taser end of her staff and thrusts it at Flex.

“Auuughh!” Flex hates it when that happens, since it burns like hell. Unfortunately, his altered physiology doesn't propagate electric current like a normal person, so it just hurts like heck.

US Angel gets her riot cuffs ready in anticipation of the ATM thief being incapacitated. “I did ask you twice to stop and come quietly.”

Flex pulls his pancaked foot from under the ATM and tries to use it to slap this crazy lady across the chops. “Cut that out!”

US Angel's eyes widen as she sees the kick coming, barely managing to deflect it with her staff, dropping the ziptie restraints on the concrete at her blue-footied feet. “I'm warning you!”

Flex mutters things unprintable as he hops on one leg, the pancaked foot slowly retracting to its normal shape.

US Angel bends to pick up her restraints, back of leotard disappearing into crack of shiny tights-covered hiney.

Flex waits just long enough for the audience watching at home to get a good holo-cam view, then his booted foot snakes over the bent over heroine's head in an attempt to boot her in the aforementioned hiney.

US Angel yelps and aims to whack her staff up under the lack of knee as she spins with restrain in other hand, trying to loop it around the ankle of the boot. “Hey!”

Flex falls on his own keister as the staff lifts his leg, the whole extended leg just quivering and bouncing as she loops it around his ankle. Frowning, still grumbling, he tries to loop the whole stretched out leg around her.

“Yikes! Demon! Tentacle monster!” US Angel screams out a warning to any who might be in danger even as she desperately ducks away and rolls, somersaulting to her feet several yards away. “What are you?”

Flex offers, “Err...broke?”

US Angel narrows her eyes. “You're too like... stretchy... to ever break!”

Flex brings the leg back in, to more normal length and such, and stands, reaching for the ATM. "No, I'm good."

Wrayth can't help but think the dialog is better on DDSTV. “Must be the writers...”

Flex knocks over the ATM, to get to the moneybox on the inside. "Go bug somebody else."

“Stand back from the ATM or I will burn you!” US Angel narrows her eyes and activates the blue end of her staff, the blowtorch flame, pointing it at the thief. “I told you to stop!”

“Hey, that's handy. Thanks.” Flex grabs the end of the staff, directing the handy tool towards the lock of the money box.

Wrayth suggests, “Hey, is US Angel helping that guy knock over an ATM?”

US Angel jerks her staff back from the villain, spinning it around in an effort to whack him over the head.

“Ow! Stop it!” Flex is more pained by getting his hand burned when she yanks away the blowtorch then the blow to the head, which sort of just makes his head bobble.

US Angel keeps waving her staff around until she can jab the blue flame at his chest.

“Yikes!” Flex sort of extends away from the fire.

US Angel tries to force the weird deformed man back and get between him and the moneybox.

Flex grumbles and sends both fists looping around towards the sides of US Angel's head.

“Unngh.” US Angel counters one blow with her staff and gets cold cocked by the other. Her head snaps around and the rest of her follows, spinning through the air, rolling over and over after hitting the pavement, staff rolling away from a gloved hand.

Miss USA bends over, grabbing the staff in both hands and opening my mouth as if to speak.

“Yes!” Flex fist pumps... which probably looks odd given that his fists are currently ten or fifteen feet from his body, then heads for the ATM. Time to cash in.

Miss USA hands the staff back to US Angel.

US Angel shakes her head as she rises to hands and knees from where she came to rest, facedown in the gutter, her white leotard soaked in the front as she gets up and takes her staff, brows knitted in frustration.

Wrayth makes sure the holocamera gets a good shot.

Flex sends a couple of fingers stretching and slimming down to start messing about with the door's internal latch, which takes his full attention.

US Angel retrieves a couple of ziptie restraints from the sidewalk where she dropped them earlier and pads toward the thief, attaching them to the end of her staff so that she can hopefully bring them quickly down around his wrists and pull them tight before he knows what hit him. “I like said... you are under arrest! And I don't give up that easily!”

Flex barely notices the restraints till the moneybox clicks open. Then he frowns as he tries to pull the door, and the bound wrists get in the way. He turns his head completely around on his neck, looking at her. "Nice wet t-shirt. But aren't you supposed to be unconscious or something?"

“Now move slowly away from the moneybox... and you won't...” US Angel sighs in exasperation. “Quit looking at my boobs. Don't you people ever think about anything else? The cold water woke me up!”

Albert Wesker thinks about her ass.

Flex nods, and the top of his head snaps towards her chin, a sort of long ranged Liverpool kiss.

US Angel ducks and lets Flex headbutt Uncle Albert behind her as she steps inside to further tighten the bands about the wrists and add another set around his boots.

Arik Cabral notes, “Well, you have to admit Angel, it IS a nice view and you do tend to display it rather openly.”

Albert Wesker agrees, rubbing his head.

Michael Vescovi remarks. “It's what she does.”

Flex grumbles, and retracts his neck, looking at all the restraints. "Er..." Flex extends both arms and legs, starting to loop all around US Angel.

US Angel wrestles with the swirling limbs, attempting to catch hold of two booted ends and knot them before she's completely encircled.

Flex responds by tightening around her like a net. “I'm not actually a rope, you know.”

US Angel looses hold not only of her staff, but the boots as well, finding herself ensnared in interlaced tightening loops of human flesh. “Like Ohmygawd!”

Flex declares, “Gotcha!”

US Angel squeals as the grip tightens and her ample contours bulge from the gaps as if quilted. “Eek... urk!”

Flex finds himself now with a dilemma. “So, now what?” Flex squeezes some more, as he ponders.

“Take the girl and the loot?” Wrayth muses. “DDSTV might pay a nice ransom!”

US Angel struggles frantically as the thief threatens to squeeze the air right out of her little body.

Flex bobbleheads, “Yeah...but...damn, watch the elbows! Where would I put her?”

US Angel tries biting.

Flex rolls around, getting his insides drummed as he squeezes. “Okay...biting is just...Owww!”

US Angel protests with her mouth full. “Let me go you... yes!”

Flex releases her, rolling away, but he does make a grab for the staff as he crabs along.

US Angel slips free in her half-soaked white leotard and sheer tights. “Thief! That staff doesn't belong to you either!”

“I steal in self-defense!” Flex waves the staff around in a clearly ill-trained manner.

US Angel blinks, jawdrops then just stares. “Don't like even think about it!”

Michael Vescovi chuckles. "This is classic."

Flex swings the staff at her, just a flat-out bat for the fences. “Hah!”

US Angel ducks under the swing of the staff and comes up charging the wrist that holds it. “Give me that before you hurt yourself or an innocent bystander!”

Flex avoids the charge for the wrist only because the swing sends him half-spinning away from the heroine. “Hey! Watch it!”

US Angel makes a face as the wrists goes flying past overhead just like the flash of the staff. She continues forward, two steps bringing her to the facade of the building to which the ATM had been attached. She runs up the side and back flips after the villain, spreading her arms and deploying the glide wings of her costume as she flies at him. “Star Spangled Spear!”

“Uh...Yikes?” Flex gets a face full of barely clad shapely heroine, and is knocked onto his back. (Okay, maybe the downside is limited on this one.)

US Angel rolls all about on top of the man she has taken down, at first grappling for her staff, then simply trying to cover his face with her backside as she sits up. “Lunar Eclipse for you!” US Angel attempts to trap arms behind her knees so they can't escape.

Flex takes some time just being rather stunned at the reversal of fortune...unfortunately by that time he's rather short of oxygen. He moves around under the heroine, his arms and legs extending and retracting in a rather disorganized way.

US Angel finds trapping the arms of this "man" rather difficult as they keep shifting in size and shape. "Hold still, darn it!" She grinds down on his face, still hoping to make him pass out.

Flex moves around some more, arms sort of randomly coiling around US Angel, but he can't quite muster the coherence to throttle the life from her. Finally, he subsides, no longer moving.

Michael Vescovi whistles softly, "Man, I've never wanted to lose a fight so bad before."

US Angel lifts a long floppy arm and lets it well... flop. Then she gets up and rubs her bottom as the police arrive. “That's him, officers... he like tried to break into that ATM machine over there!”

Flex waits while at least half the police snap cellphone pics of the heroine in her soaked and disheveled white leotard, the thief looking more like a pile of brightly colored snakes then a villain, at present.

Albert Wesker wonders who really "won."

US Angel salutes the officers as they load Rainbow Snake into the paddy wagon and then turns to her hovercam with a grin. “Evildoers will be punished as long as US Angel patrols the city!”

Albert Wesker thought it'd been a while since he'd heard the term "paddy wagon."

“Huzzah!” Michael Vescovi mock cheers, “She did it!”

Flex sleeps peacefully in the bag till they pour him out in a cell with solid doors and no windows, only vents and drains too small for him to snake through.

(November 2010)